Well, it’s been a little while since I’ve been on my Blog, which I sincerely apologise to those followers that supported me from the start. I’ve had many mixed emotions about continuing on this journey, as I was afraid of the negative thoughts others might say about my inability to commit. But months of soul searching has made me realise I should not give a f**k about what others think and if I enjoy putting my little sparkle out into the world then I should continue.
Now look the last 9 months has been a tough road for me and has required me to go on a path of self-discovery. Honestly I am not one for getting on social media and sharing the ins and outs of my life nor am I hoping by sharing my story that I will it get sympathy or extra Facebook likes. Instead I chose to write this story for me to reflect on my own personal journey to date, if in the hope of sharing this story with others I might be able to help those struggling in their day-to-day life.
Well, here I go.
Late last year I found myself officially burnt out…
It all happened so quickly, one day I thought I was fine managing everything, next minute I just snapped. It was like a switch had gone off inside my brain and I was officially broken. Looking back now I realise I was extremely stressed and putting myself under way too much pressure which created this magnitude of energy to flick the eject switch without me even knowing. The days after this event were probably the most humiliating in which I hope to never relive. I remember talking to an acquaintance in the shopping centre and just breaking down on her in some angry and saddened state of mind. Then I was doing the grocery shopping and physically had to leave the store because I had this uncontrollable urge to cry. It was so embarrassing the most simple of tasks had just become all too hard. Worst of all, my two beautiful children had to see their mum in a world of hurt and confusion.
Now I’m a pretty proud person so it took me a lot of courage to admit I was not well, and then it was even harder for me to tell my husband that I needed professional help. He thought I was just overworked and would be fine, but I knew deep inside something wasn’t right so I decided to see my doctor. Now normally I would fear at shedding a tear in front of the Doc, so much so I generally improvise my appointments beforehand to ensure my courageous spirit is alive and well…but this time the thought did not even cross my mind. I walked into the Doc’s room sat down, spoke, cried and released my worries.
The Doc set me immediately on a path to physical recovery. He never judged me like I thought he would, he simply could see I was just another victim to modern day life. By speaking to a counsellor I soon realised the root of my problem was not necessarily from overwork but an accumulation of emotional baggage that I have been holding onto over the years. I believe a great deal of this emotional pain has played a big part in many physical problems that I have battled with over the years from Alopecia and fatigue in my twenties now to Hashimoto’s Disease in my thirties.
I decided it was time rediscover the real me so I chose a self-fulfilling passage to make positive changes in my life. To be happy, active and enjoying every day as it comes is my end goal, but also being realistic in learning how to balance my day-to-day life of working, studying and being a good mother, wife and friend. I am learning to take a more ‘simplistic approach’ to my life, that incorporates my love for aromatherapy, throwing meaningless shit out and cooking with predominately plant-based nutrition. Since making this change my emotional state and physical well-being has greatly improved, but I still know it is journey in the making.
The positive thing about this stumbling block is it has allowed me to evaluate my life and map out my real dreams. So for now I will continue to share my story and knowledge to those that need it, I will learn to not give a flying hoot about others opinions of it, and I will continue to work with people I actually give a f**k about.
Please if you feel you are struggling with day-to-day life I strongly encourage you to talk to your doctor.
Live, laugh and be cheeky.